November 5, 2018
Two years of marriage. People say that time flies and it surely does. It seems like more than two years ago that we had our wedding, but when I think about us being married for two whole years, that really makes it feel like time is flying. The past two years have been nothing short of wonderful. To say that we have grown together and as individuals, is probably an understatement. I truly believe that no matter how much you prepare for marriage or really anything in life, nothing prepares you more than actually doing it.
One thing that I do know is that I am eternally grateful for Jay. I’m grateful for his heart and his soul. His kindness and his selflessness. Jay is the kind of person that people write books about and boy am I grateful to be his wife. But, even when you have a spouse that is as perfect as Jay, marriage is still something that changes and evolves and hopefully grows with each obstacle. Life changes daily and if things aren’t changing, I truly don’t think they are growing.
This second year of our marriage has been, to me, more interesting than the first. I think during our first year of marriage, we were settling into our new life together and our home. We were still coming off of that wedding high or “we are officially husband and wife”, high. Everything is all good, exciting and wonderful. Now, that’s not to say that every day isn’t exciting when you’re married to your best friend and doing life together. Because it is. But that first year is just really exciting and magical.
Year two is when everyday life starts to set in and you have to learn how to problem solve together. Work becomes stressful, you might not have all of that wedding planning to look forward to and those constant changes are beginning to slow down. Learning to be excited in the everyday joys comes into play and for some, this might be challenging!
For Jay, and I, he is still extremely busy at work, but our second year of marriage has been our most relaxed year in quite a long time! It has truly been great, but we have also learned that we need to have hobbies and fun things we can do together. We are very much homebodies and have had to push ourselves to get out of the house more and find a good balance between the two.
See what I learned in our first year of marriage here. I will also link all of our wedding details at the bottom of this post!
Photography | Ashley Seawell
Two Things I’ve Learned in Two Years of Marriage
The Importance of Serving One Another and Not Waiting For Your Spouse to Ask for Help
We have learned the importance of serving one another and recognizing when we need to slow down. The importance of noticing our feelings and the other spouses feelings as well. In our first year of marriage, I understood the need to serve Jay, but I wasn’t really sure what that meant or how I was supposed to do that. After two years of marriage, I have begun to understand a little bit more what it means to serve your spouse. It doesn’t always mean doing something nice for them now and then.
It means paying attention to what brings them joy. Asking them questions and really listening and sometimes asking additional follow-up questions. It means not just assuming they know how thankful you are for them, but telling them frequently how much they mean to you. We are all human and want to feel needed. Sometimes it’s easy to forget so it’s important to remind our spouse how much they mean to us each day. Serving them also means praying for them each day. Asking them, “How can I help you today? Is there something I can do to make your stress load a little lighter?”
Life gets busy and it’s easy to get distracted. Do little things for your spouse that makes their day easier. Here are a few things that Jay and I do for each other daily, that means so much and only take a second.
Easy ways to serve your spouse each day
- TDS aka “Turn Down Service”- When you go to a high-end hotel, they often have the turndown service. Jay began doing this for me, years ago, when I lived at my parent’s house. Every night one of us comes around and does the turndown service. We let down the shade, turn on the lamp, place a glass of water on their bedside table and pull back the sheets. You can even arrange your spouses’ pillow they way they like it. This only takes a minute or two but does wonders for your tired spouse. It’s like a royal treatment!
- Place a towel beside the shower for them.
- Cook them dinner.
- Lay out their pajamas at night or set their toothbrush and a washcloth beside the sink.
It’s the little things in life that add up and really make a difference. For better or worse. If you know what I mean 😉
It’s Ok To Enjoy Time For Just Us
As I briefly mentioned before, a lot of people get married and jump right into having a family very quickly. I don’t think this is bad at all, but it’s not for everyone. Jay and I have been using this year to really take time for us. Trust me, seeing photos of people starting families, having babies and doing everything else is oh so tempting. Please believe me, it’s hard. Having a family is something that Jay and I both really do want one day. However, before we do decide to start a family, we are trying to take time for us and for our marriage. To bask in that tempting, uncomfortable, time and making sure that we enjoy time together that is for just us.
The world we live in today is a little rushed, in my opinion. While we have so many amazing opportunities and capabilities at our fingertips, it’s so easy to fall into the rat race of comparison and allow social media to make us feel like we should be doing life a certain way. That we should have a certain income, our a certain style of home or a family. Especially in the blogging world, I think that comparison is a huge thief of joy and it will easily snatch away special moments if we allow it to.
With that said, Jay and I have been trying to soak up moments together that are just between us. We are both huge family people and love spending time with our families. However, lately, we have been trying to focus on doing fun things together that we can easily take for granted right now.
Fun things to do together, that are often overlooked
- Going to the movies
- Going out late for dessert and drinks, or really whatever we want
- Traveling together to new places
- Creating a list of things we really want to do and doing them (we just took a tour of the White House last week!)
- Playing board games and laughing with each other
- Cooking together at home
- Watching too much Harry Potter (P.S. There is no such thing)
- Dreaming of our future and making goals and plans
- Sitting on the sofa and drinking a glass of wine
- Going on bike rides
- Tackling home projects
I could honestly go on and on. But, for so long we have been so busy that slowing down, although it hasn’t been easy, has really been a blessing. We have talked about going to New York City during December, to see Christmas decorations, since I was in High School and we are finally going this year! Hopefully, we can make our trip to Europe happen next year!
Two years of marriage has been such a blessing. To say that I am married to my best friend and soul mate really doesn’t do our relationship justice. I think that any great relationship takes work, honesty, vulnerability, love, patience, and change. We are constantly growing and facing new challenges. If we don’t have that person that we can count on to see us in our true, vulnerable and fragile state, I don’t think we have the right person!
Jay encourages me daily to be my best self and he is patient and loving with me when I’m at my worst self. I would love to know what you have learned from your relationships and marriage! How do you learn to grow together and support one another? I’m always so inspired by your feedback and appreciative of it too!
Jay, thank you for two amazing years of marriage and thank you for being my best friend!
Photography | Ashley Seawell
Wedding Planning | Spencer Special Events
Floral | EM Creative Floral
Gowns | Martina Liana
Venue | Montage Palmetto Bluff
Two Things I’ve Learned in Two Years of Marriage